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I used to think being a giver made me a good man.

took pride in it. I was the one people could count on, the one who showed up, helped, fixed, supported, carried. It made me feel valuable. Needed. Worthy.

DatingMen

When I was younger, I used to hold a very specific image of the kind of relationship I wanted

In that image, I was the perfect man. I didn’t make mistakes, didn’t raise my voice, didn’t shut down or withdraw when things got hard. I thought if I became the perfect version of me, I would attract the perfect version of her.

Relationships