That was the place where I had to “get myself together.” No one sat with me. No one helped me understand what I was feeling. I learned quickly that my emotions were too much, that they weren’t welcome, and that if I wanted to be loved I had to shut them down.
she was often cynical about life and critical of herself and others. She said, “I’ve been doing a gratitude practice every day, writing down three things I’m grateful for. My mindset coach told me to do it.
I used to put it on everything, sushi, pizza, tacos, bread. I even carried my own jar when I traveled. I’d whip it out at restaurants like it was liquid gold. Everything tasted better with it. Food felt bland without it. It was my secret ingredient.
It’s your nervous system’s memory of what it felt like to be left behind. It’s the body remembering that love once came and went without warning, that safety wasn’t consistent, that connection sometimes meant pain.
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