A woman I started working with told me

A woman I started working with told me she was often cynical about life and critical of herself and others. She said, “I’ve been doing a gratitude practice every day, writing down three things I’m grateful for. My mindset coach told me to do it.”

I asked her, “What’s been the effect since you started?”

She said, “It just feels good when I do it.”

So I asked if I could offer her a small change. She agreed.

I said, “Instead of writing it down, tell people. Tell the people around you what you’re grateful for. Tell them what they mean to you, what you appreciate about them, and why that matters. Make gratitude a conversation, not just a list.”

She smiled, a little unsure, but said she’d try it for a week.

Three days later I checked in. “What’s changed?”

Her answer surprised even her. “Everything,” she said. “Everyone around me changed. My boss, who I always thought was just cold and grumpy, opened up and told me he’s been going through a really hard time. My father, who’s been emotionally distant my whole life, started calling me just to talk. People at work are more friendly. They tell me stories, they ask me questions, they laugh with me. It’s like the world suddenly softened.”

And then she said something that stuck with me. “I haven’t had a single cynical thought about the world or about myself since I started doing this.”

What this means is that gratitude, when it’s kept private, makes you feel good, for a moment. But when it’s shared, it transforms the world around you. It reminds people they matter. It softens hearts. It creates connection where there was distance.

Cynicism can’t survive in a heart that expresses gratitude out loud. The moment you let people know you see them, that you value them, that their presence means something to you, it changes them, and it changes you.

Because love isn’t something you think about. It’s something you give voice to.