Some women don't actually want a healthy, present and committed man
Because being truly seen by someone who won't flinch feels more dangerous than being half-loved by someone who keeps a safe distance.
A man who's checked out, who's a little absent, who gives you enough to call it a dating, or maybe even a relationship, but never enough to ask too much of you… that man is comfortable, because he doesn't require you to be anything more.
A man who's fully there, who sees you clearly and doesn't look away, that man is terrifying.
Even if he's exactly what you've been asking for.
I've watched women with extraordinary intelligence and emotional depth, tolerate men who were decades behind them because the alternative meant being seen for what’s underneath that. And they could get away with it. Because they're gifted enough to coast. Brilliant enough to shrink. Talented enough to stay small and still look fine from the outside.
The trouble with resilience (women carry more of it than they're ever given credit for), is that it can curdle into tolerance without you noticing. Resilience is what gets you through. Tolerance is what keeps you stuck.
What some of you actually want, what your soul has been asking for, is a man who sees how extraordinary you are and refuses to let you pretend otherwise.
Because he knows what you're capable of and won't participate in the fiction that you're less.
You don't need to be coddled. You need to be met.
There's a version of you that already knows the difference.
