A client told me her husband hasn't initiated sex in four months
He says he's tired. He says work is a lot. He says he still finds her attractive.
She believes him. She's also dying inside.
Sexual integrity isn't just about fidelity. It's about whether a man is bringing his sexual energy into the relationship or letting it atrophy somewhere outside of it. Into his phone. Into distraction. Into nothing.
Most go quiet. They stop pursuing. They let the pilot light go out and tell themselves it's normal, it's marriage, it's what happens.
Their wife feels it as rejection. As evidence she's not attractive anymore. As proof that whatever they had is gone.
But here's what's actually happening.
He's lost touch with his own sexual aliveness. Not because of her. Because he stopped tending to it. He stopped working out. Stopped taking risks. Stopped doing anything that made him feel like a man worth desiring.
And now he wonders why he doesn't feel desire.
You can't want her if you don't respect yourself first.
