A free relationship quiz for couples: where do you stand?

I made a relationship quiz for couples because most couples have no idea where they stand. They know something feels off. They do not know whether it is a normal busy patch, a slow drift, or something that needs help now.

The quiz is free, it takes about 2 minutes, and you can take it here. This post explains what it measures and what to do with your result.

Why a quiz

Couples in trouble often fall into 1 of 2 traps. Some panic, and think a normal rough patch means the end. Others stay calm for too long, and do not notice the drift until it has become distance.

A short set of plain questions helps you see it more clearly. It also gives you a shared language. "We're in the drift" is a much easier conversation to start than "I think we are falling apart."

What the quiz asks

The questions are about the small things. How you talk in the morning. How the evenings feel. How you argue and how you make up. Whether you still reach for each other. They are based on the patterns I see in the couples I work with.

There are no trick questions. Answer for how things are now, not how you wish they were.

The 3 results

Your answers put you in 1 of 3 places.

The flicker. You still have a spark, and it is quieter than it used to be. You are close, but busy, and some of the small things have slipped. This is the easiest place to turn around.

The drift. You are slowly drifting apart, and neither of you is the bad guy. You are kind to each other, but you feel more like a team than a couple. This is very common, and very recoverable.

The distance. It feels far gone. The conversations are few, the touch is rare, and you may wonder if it is worth trying. I have seen couples come back from further. It usually takes help.

What you get with your result

After the quiz, you see your result straight away. You also get a first step by email, matched to your result, so you can start that evening.

Should we take it together or separately?

Both work. Taking it separately and then comparing is often the most interesting. Many couples are surprised to find they are in different places. One feels the drift, the other feels the distance.

That difference is useful. It tells you who is feeling the gap more, and opens a conversation.

How to talk about your results

Tell each other what the conversation is first. "I'd love to talk about our quiz results for 10 minutes. Nobody has done anything wrong. I just want to understand how it feels for you."

Then take turns. What surprised you? Which question was hardest to answer?

What to do after the quiz

If you are in the flicker: start the morning sentence. 1 kind, specific sentence each before 7am. Read 10 daily habits of happy couples.

If you are in the drift: replace 1 evening habit, starting tonight. Read how to stop drifting apart. A month of daily structure can make a big difference. That is what the 30 Day Challenge is for.

If you are in the distance: please do not wait. Read The Ten Secrets together, and consider getting help. The New Us is 12 weeks with live group calls. You can also apply for a discovery call with me.

What the quiz is not

It is not a diagnosis, and it is not a test of whether your relationship will last. It is a snapshot of how things feel now, and a starting point.

If there is violence, fear or addiction in your relationship, please speak to a professional first.

Retake it later

Many couples take the quiz again after a month of new habits. Seeing your score move is a good reminder that it is working, especially on the days it does not feel like it.

Why I ask about small things

People are often surprised that the quiz does not ask whether you love each other. Almost every couple I work with does. What changes is the small things. The way you greet each other. Whether you look up from your phone. Whether arguments end or just pause.

Those small things are where relationships are won and lost, and they are also where change starts. That is why the first step you get after the quiz is always something small, something you can do the same evening.

A tip for taking it

Answer quickly. Your first answer is usually the most accurate. If you find yourself thinking hard about a question, choose the answer that describes most weeks, not your best or worst week.

Take the quiz

Take the free relationship quiz now. It takes about 2 minutes.

Questions about the quiz