A big part of the work I do with couples is helping them let go of their triggers completely
Let them go.
They don’t show up anymore, at all.
Imagine what that would be like for a moment.
Here's what a trigger actually is. It isn't your partner doing something wrong. It's an old wound getting activated. The little girl who didn't feel safe with her father. The little boy who never felt seen by his mother. The child who needed love, understanding, or protection in a moment that mattered, and didn't get it.
That wound didn't close. It just went quiet until someone stood close enough to press on it.
So now your partner says something dismissive, or forgets something important, or raises their voice, and suddenly you're not a 38-year-old adult in a relationship. You're 4 again. Terrified. Invisible. And you take everything your parents couldn't give you and you throw it at the person in front of you, expecting them to fix it.
They can't.
That wound predates them by decades, and no amount of reassurance from them will close something they didn't open.
You can close it.
The wound is yours.
So is the healing.
Your partner can be kind while you do it. They can't do it for you.
