I asked her why she was scared of men.
She started crying.
Her dad was a man. He raised her. And he was mean. Emotionally abusive in ways she's still hurting from.
So in order for her to feel safe, she can't date a man. Because a man equals not being in control. Being hurt again.
She attracts boys instead.
Boys she can manage. Boys she can predict. Boys who need her more than she needs them.
But boys can't commit. Boys can't hold her. Boys disappear when it gets real.
And she's tired. She wants a man. But wanting him and letting him in are two different things.
In order to heal, she needs to feel safe again with her dad. She needs the adult woman she is now to stand up to him for every time her inner child was silenced or dismissed or made to feel small.
Not to fix him. To reclaim herself.
You can't attract what you won't allow yourself to have.
