I've got a weird trick I use in my marriage
First, I found out when my wife feels most unlovable. When she's cranky. When she looks in the mirror and doesn't like what she sees. When our daughter is making a fuss and she gets overwhelmed. Those moments.
Second, in those moments I love her up times 10. When she's cranky, I tell her to say it all, I smile the whole way through, I give her a big hug and tell her that was awesome and I love that she is so comfortable sharing with me. When she looks in the mirror and doesn't like what she sees, I go and kiss those parts and tell her exactly why I love them. When baby is fussy I grab and play with her so she can have time for herself without asking.
The moments she expects me to judge her are the moments she gets loved up.
And lastly, another simple secret is that I turn my phone off. Off. It's our biggest enemy when it comes to connection. She wants my attention, my presence, my smile. None of that happens when my phone is in my hand or even within reach. When I'm half-present, she feels it. She'd rather have 20 minutes of all of me than two hours of most of me.
Want more tricks, tips or secrets? Comment "trick" or "secret" and I'll share it.
