By week 4, you can’t wait to see each other at the end of the day. By week 8, you’re laughing together again and reaching for each other without thinking. By week 12, you’re more in love than when you first met.
I had been working on myself for over two years, trying to heal old wounds to save my marriage and my family. From our first call with Jan-Willem I was heard on a totally new level, and I achieved more in three months than in the previous two years. He saved my marriage, built back trust in my family, and helped me find happiness in myself again. Absolutely life changing.
Working with Jan-Willem has been nothing short of life changing. From our very first session he created a space where I felt completely held and understood. He would notice a shift in my breathing before I even recognised it myself, and gently guide me back to safety. I never felt alone in my healing journey. I am endlessly grateful for his guidance and could not recommend him more highly.
This is what couples tell me on the weekly calls. Most couples go through these 4 stages in this order.
One month was enough to work through the biggest road blocks and see things we would never have seen by ourselves. It had a direct impact on how we met each other and the quality of our conversations. A complete rewiring of our nervous system.
Communication tools, date nights, therapy. They help for a few weeks, and then the same evening comes back, because neither of you was told what the other one needs.
Jan-Willem has the sensitivity, the heart warmth, the energetic wisdom and the masculine stability we needed to create a fully available, profoundly healthy way of relating to each other on an intimate level. We simply didn't have that.
Relationship and masculinity coach. 8 years and more than 1,000 men through retreats, workshops and circles. Then couples, when the wives of those men started asking what I had told them.
I am married, with a daughter. Everything in these 12 weeks is something my wife and I do, or have had to learn to do. The program exists because I could not find one that taught a man what his wife needed and a woman what her husband needed, in plain words, at the same time.
Start whenever you are ready. Week 1 opens the day you enrol, and a new week opens every 7 days. The live call runs every week, and you can join it whenever you want, for as long as you want.
Includes live calls. See Terms.
Because you need different things and you learn different things. She learns what he needs and why, and something about herself along the way. He learns the same about her. Then each of you gives it. The weekly evening is where the two folders meet.
Your own folder still works, and what you do for your partner each week lands whether or not they are doing theirs. Most reluctant partners come around by week 3, because something in the house has changed and they want to know what. Tell me in week 2 rather than pretending, and bring it to a call.
Something to read about the week's subject, written for you. Questions about where you learnt what you do. A small daily practice for yourself. And one thing to do for your partner that week, with every detail of how. I keep the specifics for people who enrol, because half of what makes it work is that your partner does not know what is coming.
He leads the small things so she can stop carrying everything, and she lets him, and admires what he carried. She keeps her career, her opinions, and her power. She gets to stop being the manager of her own marriage. Every woman who has asked me this question has been exhausted in a way she could not explain, and this is why.
About an hour at the start of each week, on your own. A few minutes a day after that. One thing for your partner each week, which is usually an evening or a sitting. 45 minutes together, and the weekly call. 12 weeks.
No. It is a coaching program with a structure. If you are dealing with serious trauma or you do not feel safe at home, see a professional first.
Most couples who take this have. Other programs work on the relationship. This works on what each of you brought into it, and on what each of you has been asking the other for without words. Couples say the same thing at the end: I did not know that was what you needed.
Carry on with the current week. You can go back any time. Every call is recorded and yours to keep.
You keep 3 things, and I tell you which 3 in the last module. Some couples go through it again a year later, and find the material reads differently the second time. Some come into private coaching. Most need nothing else for a long while.
And you come home at 6 because you want to be there. Read what the couples above say. That is what they are describing.