You already know what you want
Every woman I’ve worked with already knows what she wants.
She might say she doesn’t. She might say, “I’m not sure,” or “I just want someone kind.” But when I keep asking, it’s always there.
It’s just buried.
There are 3 things buried on top of it.
The first is the fear of being too much. Somewhere along the way she learned that wanting a lot makes men leave. So she asks for less and calls it being easygoing.
The second is disappointment. She has wanted things before and didn’t get them. It hurt. So now she doesn’t let herself want anything specific, because then nobody can disappoint her.
The third is the fear of being a burden. She worries that if she says what she needs, she becomes someone he has to deal with.
One client told me she didn’t care what kind of man she ended up with, as long as he was nice. I asked her to describe her perfect Sunday morning with him. Within 2 minutes she was crying, describing a man who brings her coffee, reads next to her in bed and asks about her dreams.
She knew exactly what she wanted. She had been too scared to say it.
My wife told me what she wanted on our third date. It was clear, specific and not at all small. It was one of the most attractive things she could have done, because it meant I knew exactly how to make her happy.
Dig it out.
What do you want?
And do you trust you can have it?
