Most women who say they want a committed man are actually terrified of one
They've been with men who took up too much space. Or took everything and left. Or made promises that turned into control.
So they date potential instead.
The guy who's almost ready. The one who needs a little more time. The one who's working on himself but can't quite show up yet.
It feels safer. Because if he's not fully there, you can't fully lose him.
A client told me she keeps meeting emotionally unavailable men. I asked her to describe the last guy who was actually available. Present. Consistent. Wanted her fully.
She went quiet.
Then she said she broke it off after three months because it felt too intense.
He wasn't unavailable. She was.
Because a man who shows up means you have to show up. A man who commits means you have to be seen. And being seen means risking the thing you've been avoiding since you were young.
That someone will know you and still leave.
The work isn't finding a better man. It's becoming a woman who can receive one.
