When women hire me to look at their situation, I don't start with her
I start with him. The guys she is seeing.
What does he actually do. Not what he says he wants. Not his potential. Not the version of him she's building in her head while he figures his shit out.
I ask for screenshots. The actual words he uses. How he shows up. What he says, what he doesn’t say.
Then I tell her the truth.
Sometimes she doesn't want to hear it. She wants me to find the hidden sign that he's secretly ready and just scared. That if she's patient enough, understanding enough, low-maintenance enough, he'll come around.
He won't.
A man who wants you doesn't make you guess. He doesn't breadcrumb his commitment. He doesn't keep you in the "we're seeing where this goes" phase for eight months while he sorts himself out.
I was that man once. I kept women in holding patterns because I liked them enough to not want to lose them, but not enough to actually build with them. I told myself I was being honest by not lying. But I was lying by not leaving.
The man who is ready doesn't need convincing, managing, or waiting for. He sees you and he moves. Decisively.
He may not say ‘I love you’ in the first month, but he is intentional about getting to know you better.
You'll know him because you won't be confused.
