In my Magnetize group, I brought in 7 men who are in long-term relationships to answer questions from the 16 women in the group
The question the women asked most was simple: “Why her?”
Every one of the 7 men gave the same answer, without exception.
Can you guess what it was?
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…
It was emotional responsibility.
Here’s what that looks like:
She owns her feelings. When she’s upset, she says, “I’m feeling hurt,” instead of “You always hurt me.” He doesn’t have to defend himself before he can comfort her.
She says what she needs. She doesn’t make him guess, and she doesn’t test him to see if he’ll figure it out. One man said, “She tells me what she wants, and then I get to be the hero who gives it to her.”
She comes back after a fight. She can calm herself down, and then she comes back to repair it, instead of punishing him with silence for 3 days.
She doesn’t make him responsible for her happiness. She has her own life, friends and joy. He adds to it rather than carrying all of it.
None of the men said she was perfect. Every one of them said she was safe enough for them to be themselves.
That’s what a good man is looking for. He wants a woman who takes responsibility for her inner world, so the two of them can build something together instead of managing each other’s moods.
