You can tell within three months if a man is capable of commitment
Not if he'll commit to you. If he's capable of it at all.
Most women ignore what they see in those first twelve weeks because the potential feels so good. He's interesting. He says the right things sometimes. There are glimpses of depth. So they stay, thinking time will reveal more.
Time reveals more of what was already there.
I worked with a client last year who spent eighteen months with a man who told her, clearly, that he wasn't looking for anything serious. She heard it. She stayed anyway. She thought if she was patient, if she didn't pressure him, if she showed him how good it could be, he'd change his mind.
He didn't change his mind. He just let her stay until she finally left.
The version of him she was in love with didn't exist. She built it out of moments, potential, the person she believed he could become. And she's not unusual. Most women do this. They date the future version instead of the man in front of them.
A healthy man doesn't need time to figure out if he wants commitment. He already knows what he's capable of. He's done the work to show up. He's not scared of being seen. He doesn't need you to wait while he gets his shit together.
If you keep ending up with men who aren't ready, the question isn't what's wrong with them. It's why you're still there after they show you who they are.
Start choosing differently.
