For a long time, I didn’t feel like a man

For a long time, I didn’t feel like a man.

I could fight. I could make money. I could impress women. But none of that made me feel like a man. Not in the way that mattered. Not in the way that brings peace when I was lying in bed with my own thoughts at night.

Because deep down, I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t feel grounded in my decisions. I looked confident on the outside, but I was performing. Scanning every situation for how to say the right thing. Be the right thing. Be liked. Be enough.

It took years, many years of discomfort.

But I see it in other men too. I see the weight men carry. And I see the strength it takes to keep going.

Men don’t get enough credit for what they hold. For the pressure to lead, to provide, to protect, to never show weakness, to always know what to do, and do the wrong thing over and over again. Most men I know aren’t checked out. They’re overwhelmed. And they’re ashamed of being overwhelmed. Because we were taught that feeling anything other than “I’m fine/good” is failure.

But here’s the truth my brother:

If you get up when you don’t feel like it, you’re doing it.

If you show up for the people who count on you, even when you’re tired, you’re doing it.

If you question yourself but keep trying to do better, you’re doing it.

You might not hear it enough, but I want to say it clearly now:

I see you and I believe in you.

I see the way you hold back tears in silence. I see the way you carry things no one knows about because you don’t want to be a burden. I see the way you show love through action, through presence, through trying, through fixing, even when you’re scared it won’t be enough.

And I want you to know this: your worth is not in your paycheck or how much money you have in your bank account. It’s not in how many people respect you. It’s not in whether you have a six-pack, a six-figure income, or a six-year plan.

It’s in how you show up when it’s hard. How you hold your ground when life tests you. How you make people feel safe just by being steady, honest, and here.

You just need to be real. And that’s f—-n hard in a world where status is glorified.

But the man who’s real? Oh boy.

He doesn’t just change his own life. He changes the lives of every person around him.

So wherever you are in your journey, keep going.

We need you brother.

Thank you. For making an effort, especially in the moment when no one sees you.