I believe there are two types of men in the world

I believe there are two types of men in the world.

There are men who say, “I want a wife. I want kids.”

And there are men who say, “I want to be a husband. I want to be a father.”

At first glance, they might sound similar. But underneath those words live two very different inner landscapes.

The man who says “I want a wife” is looking for something to complete him. I know this because I’ve been him.

He wants the picture. The milestone. The idea of what it means to be loved and chosen. Often unconsciously, he’s still holding a fairytale or trying to outrun his loneliness. And when it gets hard, when the connection starts requiring more than chemistry, he wonders what went wrong.

He thinks kids will make him feel more purposeful, more motivated. That having a family will settle his inner noise. But deep down, he’s not preparing himself to carry it. He wants the role, not the responsibility.

Then there’s the other kind of man.

The one who says “I want to be a husband.”

Who asks himself, “What kind of partner would I be if someone leaned their entire heart against mine?”

Who studies what makes love last. Who looks at his patterns and takes accountability for them.

Who learns how to self-regulate, so his partner doesn’t have to mother him through every difficult moment.

The man who says “I want to be a father” already feels the weight of what that means. He doesn’t romanticize it. He imagines the sleepless nights, the self-doubt, the moments where everything in him will be stretched, and he prepares for it anyway.

He doesn’t see a child as an extension of his legacy. He sees it as a life he’s responsible for shaping, protecting, guiding. Selfless.

He asks what it would mean to raise someone with patience, presence, and integrity.

He’s already becoming the man he wants his son to look up to. Or the kind of man he wants his daughter to believe actually exists.

And when he meets a woman, he doesn’t try to impress her with promises. He shows up in small, consistent ways. With action. With emotional honesty. With grounded care.

That kind of man doesn’t need to say “I want forever.”

You feel it in how he shows up today.

He leads with humility, not ego.

And when he says “I want to be a husband,” he’s not asking for a prize. He’s declaring a level of devotion he’s committed to living up to.

The world has enough men chasing roles.

It needs more men becoming ready to carry them.

And if you’re a man, reading this wondering which kind of man you are, notice how you show up when no one is watching.

That’s where the truth lives.