Here's the part of marriage nobody tells you about

When she says or does something and I don't like her in that moment, it shows me where I'm still stuck. Stuck in my ego, and stuck in a small idea of who or how she is suppose to be. It's a chance to heal my own hurt, the part of me that can't love and like her for being a beautifully imperfect human.

I keep coming back to this:

My wife and her imperfect ways are not a problem to solve. They're an opportunity to love her.

Here's an example. I love reading, so I bought her a Kindle loaded with 10 of my favourite life-changing books.

She didn't read a single one.

I was frustrated. I kept telling her why it mattered to me and why these books were so important.

Then I decided to let it go and love her instead.

And the moment I did she picked up a paperback she was curious about. She loved it and learned so much from it. She even taught me some valuable lessons from it.

When I stopped trying to change her and loved her instead, I got more than I had hoped for.

And every time I've tried to make my wife smaller so I could like her better, I've made myself smaller too.