I’ve noticed a very distinct difference between the men and women I coach 1:1

I’ve noticed a very distinct difference between the men and women I coach 1:1.

Men hardly ever text between sessions, even though it’s included. I’ll literally set “ask for support” as homework, and still, radio silence. They’ll sit with something for days, trying to figure it out alone, until the next call.

Women, on the other hand, will message almost every day, about how they’re feeling, what came up in a conversation, a realization they had, or a fear they’re noticing, and everything else.

Then, when it comes to the actual topics, the split becomes even clearer.

Women talk about relationships. About understanding men, about communication, patterns, attachment, emotion, and connection. Their questions revolve around “How do I relate better?” or “How do I not lose myself while staying open?”

Men talk about direction. About purpose, money, focus, and how to stop feeling anxious or uncertain. Their questions are more like “How do I know what I’m meant to do?”

What that means it this:

Women regulate through connection, men regulate through isolation. When a woman feels off, she reaches out. When a man feels off, he disappears.

Women seek understanding first, men seek results first. She wants to make sense of things before she acts; he wants to act before he reflects.

This difference matters, deeply. Because it’s the same polarity that shows up in relationships.

When a woman texts her man about how she feels and he doesn’t reply, she often assumes he doesn’t care.

And when a man tells a woman what to do instead of first understanding her, it’s that his default is fixing, not feeling.

This polarity is what creates both the spark and the misunderstanding between men and women.

Women connect to process.

Men process to reconnect.

She speaks to feel safe.

He retreats to find clarity.

When both sides understand that difference, and stop judging it, meet each other there, love starts to work again.