There’s a type of man who can talk about healing

There’s a type of man who can talk about healing, shadow work, polarity, consciousness, and nervous system regulation with precision. He’s read all the books. He’s been to all the workshops. He knows the language.

But he still can’t sit in a real moment of discomfort without withdrawing, attacking, or spiritually bypassing.

He’ll tell you everything is a mirror, that your pain is your projection, and that your upset is just your wounded feminine. And it sounds intelligent. Evolved. Conscious. But it’s just a new mask.

Because despite all his awareness, he still can’t apologize when he’s out of integrity. He still can’t hold space for your emotions without making it about himself. He still gets defensive when called forward.

His “healing” becomes a shield. A way to avoid true accountability. And often, he’ll gaslight you with soft words and spiritual frameworks, while never once looking at how his behavior actually impacts the connection.

If you’re a woman in connection with a man like this, pay less attention to his vocabulary and more to his embodiment. How does he respond when you’re in pain? When you need repair? When you bring him something vulnerable?

Don’t get seduced by language. Truth is in action.

A man who’s done the work doesn’t need to say “I’m emotionally available.” You feel it in how he listens. You see it in how he slows down. You notice it in how he regulates before reacting. Or apologizes when he overreacted.

If you feel confused or doubting yourself often, that’s your nervous system speaking. Honor that. Ask yourself: Do I feel considered? Or does it sounds like should feel considered?

A man that’s actually doing the work makes you feel more like yourself, not less.

PS. There is no coincidence that all the men in this photo are in committed relationships. Our Fight Club workshops quickly weed out the men who deep down are to afraid to show up